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1000 Hours
41 Days
5.8 Weeks
1.42 Months
.11 Years
That is the breakdown of the 1000-hour benchmark.
“20 years from now, the only people who will remember that you worked late are your kids” has both a positive and a negative connotation… Negative: They’ll remember you missing time with them. Positive: They’ll remember your discipline, work ethic, and energy for growth. @sahilbloom (Twitter)
This quote was the motivation to create this challenge, not just to understand that my kids will learn from my hard work and discipline within my career and “worK”, but also to make sure that I understand where the boundaries are at to prioritize time spent with them. My kids.
What is the 1000-hour benchmark?
Quite simply, it is the attempt to accumulate 1000 hours of interaction, presence, teaching, learning, engaging, loving, sharing, laughing, crying, snuggling, and growing together with my kids.
Why I create a benchmark for time spent with my kids? (and maybe some motivation for you to do so as well)
Why not. I found myself stringing together time with my kids when I could make it work, and I wanted to be more intentional around the time I spent with them. I also realized that my time of being FULLY present and impactful in their life with my presence would change as they continued to develop and grow. (My Kids were 2 and 4 at the time this article was published.)
We place goals and objectives around all things in life that we want to achieve and improve, so why not place this same focus on spending time with our kids? I was creating time blocks to workout, to mow the lawn, to see friends, to have dedicated creative time, to go to work…. but nothing for my kids. So I wanted to change this with a simple objective:
Spend X hours with my kids per year
So here is how I got to, x = 1000
Why 1000 hours?
Well, to be frank, it is slightly arbitrary at the moment, but let’s break down how we got there. When I looked at the amount of time that I could dedicate to all of the things in my life that I needed to do and also calculated the things I wanted to do, I landed around the 1000 mark for dedicated family/kid time.
Here is the math:
Weekly Hours (20 hours per week)
Morning time: I get 1-2 hours in the mornings with the kids from when they wake up to when I wrap up taking them to school
Evening time: Another 1-2 hours in the evenings with them after finishing work and prior to them going to bed.
Weekends: The goal is all day, but on average, looking at 8 hours on both Saturday and Sunday. (remember my kids are young, I am sure this will change as they grow - but the objective is to maximize this phase of life)
Variables to include:
Holidays/Vacation time: On these days, generally, the workload is lighter and the time spent with the kids/family is more intentional and uninterrupted.
The above hours are not FIRM: There will be some variance in the numbers above, but the hope is that over the course of a few weeks, we average around the above numbers; that is why they were selected, not as maximal or minimum thresholds but rather AVERAGES.
What do we do during these hours?
That is fully up to you and your kids; this will be HIGHLY dependent upon your kids, their interests, you and your interests, where you live, where you vacation, what you do for work, what your spouse does for work… the list goes on and on. So at this moment, I can only share how I do this within my given perimeters in life; if you decide to take on the 1000-hour challenge, please share so we can all learn from YOU!
Here is how I break down this time:
Meals: Since I can work from home, I can get 2-3 meals per day with my kids most days. Breakfast is a time to cook together, lots of cracking eggs together, mixing oatmeal, and helping me pour my coffee. This has been a great time to give them an activity to complete with me and an opportunity to minimize any screen time in the morning as they have a recurring morning task to complete with Dad. Lunch when I can schedule it in, is always a blast. This allows me to help my wife with watching the kids while she is able to take some time to knock out tasks without the kids. Also, having a lunch break with two toddlers is way more exciting than sitting in a break room at work; working from home is the best, and you will not be able to sell me on going back to the office. At least not while I have little ones. Dinner we are just now getting to the point where evening activities for everyone in the family are starting to create some variance here
Morning: Outside of the breakfast item above, we will have some repeat tasks/items to hit on.a daily basis together. Making Snacks/Packing for School: getting their snacks and packs together is an easy task for the kids to accomplish together with me in the morning and allows them to take some ownership over getting their own things in order for the day, even at 2 & 4. Morning chore: Most mornings this looks like helping me water a plant or two, cleaning the pool (during the summer), or just helping take our dog (Slate the GSP ) out. With our young kiddos, this is a great way for them to start the day off with a win, they are all little helpers, and this allows them to fill their cup first thing in the morning. Morning walk to school: This is my FAVORITE part of the morning, for a ew reasons, some selfish some not so selfish. First the selfish, I work from home on a computer, which means I am sedentary 8-10 hours per day. So this walk to school allows me to get another 5-6k steps per day by doing something the
Bedtime: Bedtime is a magically variable time when you have toddlers and little ones. Some evenings this will be a sweet time with both of them snuggled on your lap while other times it will be a battle from bath to bed, so being flexible with my expectations has been the best thing for me to maximize this time together with my kiddos. Bathtime: a staple in the daily routine with the young kids and is a time where they can yap about their day and tell me stories or I get to be silly and tell them stories about my day. Books: My wife and I generally split book time with the kids, and they do this time separately with one of us. My son normally selects mom and my daughter selects me to read books. Reading 2-4 of her favorite books and then we get the room set for bed. My favorite time of the day with my kids is when I get to lay down with them after reading books and right before they go to bed because that is when they tell me everything about their day and I can just listen. No prompts are needed; they yap for 5-10 minutes until they go to bed.
Play: With my wife being a stay-at-home mom with the two little ones, she solidifies a lot of the playtime activities that the kids enjoy. So I have to give her most of the credit here. But when I do get the opportunity to branch out and create play I lean to getting them outside. We are fortunate enough to live on the coast so 1-2 times a week we try to get to the beach and play. Other times we go to the local skatepark. Other times we hit the playground for some swing, slide, and monkey bar action. Other times the play
Structure: I have listed a few items above that fall in the other categories that overlap with “Structure” the big ones are the chores they assist me with. The other items that fall into structure would be any type of activities that are aimed to help them learn and grow as little humans.
In closing
Again, the goal here is to create multiple opportunities throughout the day, consistently, that will allow me to foster and develop the strongest and deepest relationship possible with my kiddos.
1st Check-in on this challenge will come in late August, send me a DM on Instagram @the.reliable.dad
